Sunday, May 13, 2012

Insert Clever Mother's Day Title Here

Mother’s Day 2012

This morning, my kids decided to make me breakfast for Mother’s Day. My daughter prepared a bowl of oatmeal (at least I think that’s what it was) and my son handed me a slice of bread. They stood there staring at me with eager eyes waiting for me to finish the meal they prepared in my honor. I ate every bite and smiled and praised them for doing such a great job.

I wasn’t even hungry.

I just wanted some time to think in peace this morning.

I found the gesture ironic that, much like every day, I am forced to swallow something I don’t want or like for the sake of keeping my kids happy.  Definitive motherhood.

Shortly after breakfast, my mother came by to give me a bouquet of dead flowers. I had to excuse myself after my celebratory breakfast and lovely gift to cry in peace.

Oatmeal. A slice of bread. Dead flowers. Happy Mother’s Day.

Are you starting to see the picture that I am painting for you?


I thought of my upbringing in a dysfunctional, broken family and tried to isolate the reasons why approaching holidays have filled me with dread and feelings of inadequacy for most of my life.

This is the part where I stop talking about myself. This is the part where I start talking about the big picture.

Holidays can unearth repressed emotions within some people. Feigning enthusiasm and pleasure for the sake of others is probably the most difficult part of celebrating holidays.

I'd like to take a moment to say it's okay if you're *not feeling* Mother's Day or any other holiday for that matter. Not everyone can uphold the standard of conventional living implied by greeting card marketing strategies. Not all of us are perfect. Most of us do not have perfectly constructed families and 
perfect lives.

For those of us who have lost mothers and grandmothers and find this day unbearable, Fuck Mother’s Day.

For those of us who are dealing with broken homes (due to divorce or poor choices in choosing a mate) and feeling the weight of this day and not sure why, Fuck Mother’s Day.

For those of us who have buried children, Fuck Mother’s Day.

For those of us who have endured an abusive or absentee mother, Fuck Mother’s Day.

For those of us that feel like our kids are more burdensome than we’d ever care to admit to ourselves, let alone out loud, Fuck Mother’s Day.

For all of those picture perfect families walking around with smiles and honoring their matriarch on this day…Happy Mother’s Day.

For those that can’t conceive and see Mother’s Day as a demarcation of ultimate failure as a woman, Fuck Mother’s Day.

Fuck Mother’s Day.

Instead, reflect on your life and how the role of motherhood has affected you as a mother, as a child, as a spouse, as a woman or as a man. Whatever. If the feelings evoked are painful, don’t be afraid to cry or scream or punch a hole through the wall.

I’m not sure how to end this. Besides, my kids are going to eventually find me. Did I mention that I had to hide behind my bed to write this?  No? Well, I am… Forgive the typos in advance. I hope my words make sense.

Time to fake it 'til I make it. xoxo

Light and Love, yall. Everything is going to be alright.


  1. NOW you see the pain and suffering that you have to endure when you DECIDED to be a mother. Motherhood is a choice, and you probably ALSO made the choice when you got pregnant, however many times you did, to have those babies. Probably a religious decision, even though I bet your ass ain't thinkin about religion when you got whichever man you picked that time balls-deep in that ass. If you didn't know what your ass was getting into when you picked up that dick and let it bust a load all up in your lady parts, you never should have let it happen in the first place. Kids are fuckin TOUGH. Welcome to the fuckin real world.

  2. Umm thanks for your comment. Happy Mother's Day.

  3. You know I'm a positive, happy go lucky type person so all I can say is it's okay to not feel a holiday or any holiday. To me, it seems as they are more about putting on a show as opposed to actually conveying feelings and love.

    BTW I am sooooo happy my kids didn't make me breakfast today. I feel your pain on that one.

    And I'm glad I'm not the only one who hides from my kids.

  4. Personally, I've always struggled with holidays. Even before the kids. It's warm today... family fun with water guns in the backyard. Passive Agressive stress relief and fond family memories combined.

    Thanks for bringing some SANITY back to the comment thread, Regina. hhahahaha

  5. I can relate to hating the holidays. After my mom passed I HATED HOLIDAYS!! It was so cruel and torturous! I was depressed and bitter and resentful. I remember my first Mother's Day I went to some random store and saw all the ppl picking out there cards for their mamas. I was pissed. At every single one of them! How unfair that YOU get to buy a card...and I don't! Then I went to the next aisle and cried.It can be tough! This Mother's Day.... being my first Mother's Day living with my MIL.... and seeing she's being a vindictive Bitch...Again... I miss my mom even more!
    No one LOVES being a mom all of the time! You know I love my kids, but I think about running away some days. Literally running away. I can't even be in the bathroom for more than mins without someone barging in! Some days it's wonderful.... some days I just cry.
    The commercial value put on Mother's Day is pretty redic too! I've been asked a few times what I was given for presents. Then they show off what balleriffic present someone bought them. It's like the better (or most expensive) the present, the better mom you are. Pfft!
    I'm struggling with the thought of going to the laundromat or not....How's that for the gift that keeps on
    Enjoy ur babies, honey! Whenever u get a chance. Not just today. Hopefully when they are older they can really make u feel like Queen for a day! That's what I hope for :)

    Question: Why were ur flowers dead??

  6. Bachi the DESTROYER of PUNK ASS BITCHESMay 13, 2012 at 12:39 PM

    The penis who wrote that comment above go fuck yourself. Jump off a fucking bridge and die. FUCK YOU and FUCK MOTHERS DAY. It should be happy stupid females who decide to procreate and get stuck with all the responsibility for 18+ or a life time after, while the males get to frolic and be carefree." no wonder men age better. Everything I have done was planned my piece of shit x begged me for a baby, non stop- said he would share the responsibilities and be my partner but instead all he did was drag me down. As soon as I was five months preg. his stupid ass was fucking everthing that movedand after I had the baby, financially he was taking all his lady friends out and not even paying for diapers. So before you run your mother fucking mouth and want to assume you know anyone or their fucking situation you need to just shut the fuck up. Or say it to my mother fucking face so that I can fucking cut you for being a stupid piece of shit that does not have a hint of intelligence which is why I am talking this way.. I'm stooping to your level. Your mother did not have you , she SHAT you the fuck out. Coward pussy faced anonymous punk ass BITCH. Just die.

  7. @ Ceci - I don't think the dead flowers were intentional. Her vision isn't what it once was. But, I found it poetically ironic. I'm glad that you understand what I am saying is this Blog Entry, though and thank you.

    @Bachi the DESTROYER OF PUNK ASS BITCHES - First, LMFAO. Second, I thought the anonymous poster was a woman for some reason. Who knows? Sorry to get you riled up on such a beautiful day though. :/

  8. This blog was only half for me, I just want to add some food for thought.

    As fake as you seem to think your response to your kids are, I see them as normal. I got hard boiled eggs with cold toast and gifts that will never be opened and gather dust in my top drawer. Handmade cards that look like crap. But I lapped it up like it was a 5 star buffet.

    Its about the look on their faces and the memories made from that day.

    I was bought up in a happy I cant relate to what you are saying from a person raised in a dysfunctional family...but I can tell you that the memories my mother made for us forever changed how I act toward my kids on the holidays.

    I am not a holiday / present person....but making those memories happy for my kids is an aim of mine because I still remember those fuzzy warm feelings I have when I think of christmas and special days such as Birthdays and Mothers Day

    Thank you Huakore Martha Petricevich missed greatly.